When was the last time you…
Play me while you read
When was the last time you noticed your gut?
When was the last time you felt yourself, felt free, felt safe?
When was the last time you enjoyed something that man didn’t create?
Enjoyed something that you didn’t buy?
When was the last time you felt small in the world? And for that to be a safe feeling, not a helpless feeling?
When was the last time….you were more excited to stare silently at the stars than at a screen?
When was the last time you could sit with your mind for hours? When un-busyness wasn’t scary.
When was the last time you felt in awe or something? Felt connected to the earth?
When was the last time….You ran through a field and imagined up the most perfect best friend, and asked them why they are the way they are?
When was the last time you walked outside to watch the night clouds passing over and through the stars?
That you felt your feet in the grass and noticed nothing else but just that?
When was the last time your mind felt peacefully empty?
Did you feel solely satisfied, as a result of nothing that has happened externally?
Did your heart explode?
Did you dance for no one but yourself?
Did you move your body in ways that didn’t feel like an obligation? That wasn’t something you were required to do?
Did you feel worthy of honour?
Did you trust your decisions?
Did you trust another with your preciousness?
Did you picture yourself when you were a child and ask your grown up self what you hoped for that little boy or girl?
Did you feel seen and fully known?
Did you feel unbound by time or responsibility?
Did you feel excited to learn something?
When was the last time you were unhurried?
The last time you burst out in unquenchable laughter?
Did you feel completely weird and wacky?
Did you hold your hand to your heart? And feel it beating?
Did you whisper to yourself exactly what you KNOW you need to hear?
Did you speak the encouragements you think about people in your head, for them to actually hear?
When was the last time you played in the rain? Or felt soothed by watching big swaying branches way above you.
When was the last time you lay on your back, put your feet to the sky and feel for a moment like you’re walking on it?
When was the last time you felt like you lack nothing?
When was the last time you felt your purpose in something (that in world crashing events) couldn’t be taken away?
When was the last time you felt loved? Or experienced kindness?
When was the last time you accomplished something you were proud of?
When was the last time you felt alive?
When was the last time…
You felt comfortable enough to answer honestly to these questions?
To not deny or judge your first gut reactions, to not explain away why the ones that pull on you aren’t allowed to have space right now.
When was the last time you listened to your gut, did you pay attention to what it’s telling you? To what it’s speaking to you. To what its teaching you as it yearns for some and feels uncomfortable with others? Did you stay present long enough to not just find the right answer, but to listen to what is there? To ask it “why are you there?”
If you find an answer you don’t think is right. That’s okay. Don’t judge it. Even the things we feel ashamed or stuck by are trying to call us into a deeper desire, a deeper and fuller narrative, a deeper realness to who we are. If you don’t find a landing point, don’t judge yourself either. Simply observe.
Get still again. Get acquainted with you again. Get comfortable with the “you” under the “things”. Let it lead you. You can trust it.
You have everything inside of you that you need today.
You lack nothing.
Your body and mind, and spirit know what to do.
So…ask yourself
When was the last time I gave myself permission to…..?
When was the last time I believed there’s more for me?